Resilience is the ability to adapt to circumstances, deal, and stay true to yourself. Wanting to create something is an evolutionary need. Shifting the focus from results to the process of movement is a training in resilience. 

You can use creativity for dealing with what happens, to promote a sense of self, to find something that you can be happy with, and proud of yourself for it. 

Creativity is just that little bit of moving, it’s helping the stress hormones do what they are for, to take action. It’s a gentle way of having a bit of action, it can be calming and helpful. 

Creativity is mini-stress, small problems to solve in the moment, it’s doable. Doing something repetitive – occupies part of the brain and also helps the other part of the brain digest.

I learned creativity from my mother and grandmother. Everything they made had to be useful, it was women’s work. If it was beautiful, it was a bonus. They created out of necessity during the war, not for pleasure. If I did something beautiful they would be pleased that I did it, but they would never express being proud.

I think stress is a bit of a reaction to the problems in the world, the problems you can’t do anything about, and we get stuck in emotions. 

There’s a lot of input but not a lot of output in the world – social media, the news, …. Too much input, backlogged in your mind, can make you depressed, it’s problematic and overwhelming if all you do is take things in. 

Doing something with your hands is output, that helps with your resilience, instead of being stuck in a huge mess of a backlog. I’ve been depressed myself, it’s when life comes to a halt, with those emotions you don’t move that much. 

I dealt with depression when my mother died, when my children left the house, menopause. Stitching pulled me through, kept me moving, even in a small way. 

I wrote a book about stories from my youth, published in Dutch, name translates to “Ground Fire” (referring to family trauma through generations as an underground bog fire that remains lit, smoldering, and comes up to the surface). 

My mother suffered from WW2. Traumas were important in my family. Mom talked about it daily, she couldn’t stop talking about it, to keep the panic away, she was very fearful. Creativity also helped her to calm down, to get through it. 

After mother’s death I did EMDR therapy to deal with some of the issues related to us, as well as EFT, and it cleaned up several things. EMDR keeps part of your brain occupied while the other part focuses on processing. It gives your brain some space to deal with the backlog of stimuli. I see creativity as a modest way of doing something similar, to come up with creative solutions. I recommend EMDR to everybody.

I wish my mother had the chance to do EMDR, to stop turning that circle of trauma in the family that kept expounding. Her words and stories were blankets for the fire underneath but she didn’t talk about her own feelings. 

To deal with a bog fire, the only thing you can do is dig it up. I can’t imagine life without creativity for happiness and also mental health. It doesn’t have to be the same for everyone. Its essential for life, to move. 

When I was young, I was told never tie a knot in a thread, that’s not nice, no knots! I was taught to make and weave a tail and hide the thread. UNTIL I learned from Sue Stone (a UK textile artist). 

I recognized that I still had this idea, a voice in my head, that I was a sloppy stitcher, that I didn’t do what my grandma told me to do. 

THEN I was allowed to tie a knot. I noticed that I had lots of little rules in my head and opinions about myself. This aha was freeing for my creative process and myself too. 

Before I start a project I look at images, not to replicate, but to get inspired by the shapes, patterns, colors. Feeling the fabric, playing with it in my hands. Use a few moments, to look at colors, feel the fabric, be with what I’m doing. 

I start stitching intuitively, I see where it goes. It doesn’t always go in the right direction. If I notice I’m pushing too much, if something didn’t click, that doesn’t work. It’s also important that you’re ok with it. I can learn from doing it wrong. Not everything I make needs to be wonderful, inspired, finished. 

I get in the flow by moving, and each piece that I make is a part of that big process. Just do, and the flow will eventually come. If you’re feeling restless energy, that’s ok. It’s the energy you have in that moment. If something’s not working, that’s energy that you’re experiencing. 

Creativity can teach you about yourself. In a gentle way, you come to know these things about yourself. I admit, not every day is brilliant. I might need to get out for a walk or something else. 

The inner critic that’s constantly commenting on what you do. It’s frantically trying to keep you safe. It’s like an overzealous friend, overreacting but trying to keep me safe. Once I realized that, it wasn’t my enemy anymore. I could also appreciate it and could talk to it and tell it “don’t worry.” 

[On the other hand,] Self confidence is the ability to be happy and proud of what you do and make, to really enjoy it. Having confidence enough to share really makes me happy. Go with the flow, see where it gets you.

Connection to nature, to feel I belong here, that I’m part of something bigger. Using nature as an important connection strengthens me. It’s calming, comforting, takes me out of myself. 

Seeing movement, process, seasons, decay and regrowth, patterns. Colors are important. I love the depth and beauty of eco dyeing. It’s surprising, a gift from nature, I experience it as a gift to myself. 

This is part of my journey, when I began to see the beauty in things, to feel that I deserved this beauty, I now afford myself more beautiful things. I’d rather make one thing with beautiful material than 10 things that I don’t enjoy. 

When I tried to sell things, it didn’t make me happy, I wasn’t being true to myself. You can never be compensated for the time and energy put into stitched things. 

Whether stitching, knitting, crochet, I wanted to create with no expectations of results, doing it just for myself, that’s when I found the joy of stitching again. Eco dyeing became a self-strengthening process. Trying another color, tiny acts of creativity, the joy and beauty of the colors. 

Creativity became a powerful force in my life. I’m very much in control, it’s all up to me. 

She’s happy, slightly theatrical, expressive, loves colors. She’s a maximalist, especially playing with colors, exploring, trying something new. 

She likes wearing ballet clothes and things for dancing, sometimes a fairy costume, dressing up. 

She is also exploring with her sister Esther, loves to dress up like princesses with shorts so they could fight and be assertive and strong, and able to climb trees. 

I’m a multi-passionate creative. I see creativity as my superpower. It’s a permission to pause, it’s a sacred space to enter. We need creative self-care dates. I am authentically myself when creating. 

Creating a sacred space for women to enter. It lights me up when I see other women light up with their passion. That’s where they naturally find confidence and courage. I love being their cheerleader! I want to continue to offer sacred space for women to pursue their passions! 

I feel heaviness at times, binding me up.  I use different methods for dealing with things for my mental state. This year I am purposefully processing with a word prompt – “Joy” is my word of the year. I am asking myself “how can I internally be Joy?” 

Yes, Permission Granted. 

Permission Granted to...  make yourself a priority. set aside time just for you. push the pause button. take a break. unplug. relax. rest. create your own sacred space. surround yourself with things you love. hang the do-not-disturb sign. shut the door. leave your troubles behind. light a candle. be still. close your eyes. quiet your mind. breathe deeply. connect with yourself. sip a cup of hot tea. play. have fun. be creative. make something. feed your soul. fill yourself up. release overwhelm. wave goodbye to stress. recharge. experience calm. replenish your energy. feel at ease. say hello to joy. lather yourself in happineness. rinse and repeat.

Make time for yourself to be creative, that helps your self-care.  It's ok to pause to rethink things. Play with your passion, play first and see where it takes you. Nurture your passion and share it with the world. Spend your days doing what brings you joy. 

She’s wearing a funny straw hat, making mud pies. Having fun. 

You don’t need confidence if you have passion, you just need a little bit of courage.  Find your cheerleaders.